On the Road Again: Turn!Turn!Turn!

“…Use my body like a car,
Taking me both near and far
Met my friends all in the material world…”

-       Living in The material World, George Harrison

 “To everything there is a season, and
a time to every purpose under heaven…”

                       - Ecclesiastes, 3: 1-2

Sometimes the world changes in the blink of an eye, the taking of a breath or the beat of a heart. Before one has a chance to have another thought everything that was has been transformed. It is almost as if that everything that was is now a memory and that which is to come is a new challenge and experience ineffable until it too has been experienced and then is past. Suddenly that source of comfort, security and familiarity is swept away. That long winding road ahead takes a sudden turn and everything is new again.

It is guaranteed that if you were to suggest to Hawk Hill Girl number 2 that her eyes welled up with tears as she said a final farewell to her faithful friend she would deny it, once, twice and even a third time. Her companion and protector for the past few years would no longer be a part of her. Digital representations online and in photographic journals would become the prompts to conjure the memories of journeys taken together and how they survived unforecasted storms. One day they were cruising along together on the roads of life to work, to school and to play with blasting beats and harmonies when suddenly without warning the companion stopped as if to say “Please, no more.”

The grateful eulogy about those incidents when she was protected from harm poured forth from her heart. There is no greater gift but to give one’s life for a friend. Her mother contributed her voice to the lament of the requiem, but she is also one proud not to show too much emotion, she reverently touched the cold resting body as if to say “Thank you for being good to my daughter and farewell good friend.”

“We are known by our friends,” a homilist suggested.

Isn’t it interesting how we let attachments to people and things define or influence who we are? We all know we are not those things or people and they are not we but some how mystically and maybe magically a unique bond is often made between us that of this world. Sometimes it seems that these things or people have been coincidentally placed in our path to help us along until we can strike out with our own voice.  Maybe it is true that there is a purpose to all things. Maybe the divine intervention is greater than we can imagine. Ignatius says God is in all things. Some eastern teachers suggest Buddha comes in all forms.

So it was for number 2 and her companion, they became one…bold, adventurous, independent, no terrain forbidden, hope-filled, confident and ever strident. If you saw the companion it was easy to think number 2 and often the opposite was true. Then that unforeseen moment surfaced when the old friend would say farewell. All that had gone before was a formation process. Some behaviorists call this individuation while others suggest that as the universe constantly expands nothing stays the same. “Impermanence is life” write the cloistered Tibetan monks. The body, mind and spirit simply evolve say others.

Sometimes human nature often struggles to hold onto what has been and who has been with us during our experiences of maturation. That attachment to those and that which have been an essential part of the molding our own being can sometimes fetter us from becoming who we are meant to be. Some of us need more time and help in the art of becoming that we are. Then there are a few of those who seem to have been planted in holy ground and blossom with amazing grace.

It was in this situation that her once reliable friend had aged quickly. The miles traversed together were beginning to show their wear and tear. Tried, true and tested it was time. She was the vessel that delivered freedom and now she was being set free, her mission fulfilled. Her name appropriately described her purpose - Liberty.  As the family departed leaving her behind in her stillness she somehow broke the silence and said, “And, Thank you.”

A new journey with new adventures awaits the rogue warrior as she is welcomed to who she is to become. Though we are aware that things and others do not define who we are, we are sometimes fortunate to be cognizant of role others have played in the birthing of our own identity. The formation taken place and complete there comes that moment when it is right to be grateful for the blessing and move on to the next chapter.

She gave one last glance farewell to her resting black Jeep Liberty.




amdg

Hall of Fame

There was a time when I believed in the myth that those who were famous people all somehow came from or lived in the "land of celebrity." This land these stars came from was a blessed place. Really famous individuals were given special graces and gifts in the areas of the arts, sciences, industry, religion and service and they came from a "significant" place. Unfortunately that world or location was never where I was. I might visit that place or read about it but I was not to be part of that place. I just assumed then that for some unknown mystical reason I wasn't to be part of the experience or even geography of those who would be famous. I also believed that I was not gifted to achieve or do anything significant.

Success, peace, satisfaction, self-actualization always happened to someone else from some other place. Nothing good came directly or exactly from where I was living with my family or my circle of friends. We lived in "average land." This myth continued to grow as it seemed I was surrounded by all average people with nothing special about us.

Compounding this issue is that I was born and raised in New Jersey. This fact alone fed this belief about self worth and the hopelessness of achieving success. I was oft reminded by others that I grew up in the land of refineries, toxic waste and hypodermic needled beaches. A good friend who had moved to the east coast of the US used to introduce himself as living in New York City even though he lived and worked in New Jersey. He would remind me privately that "nothing good comes from New Jersey." He was embarrassed about living in a place that he believed had had a negative reputation around the country and the world.

Last evening Lindsay, my oldest daughter, and I were guests of my friend Dan at a special celebration. The musings about personal achievement and success were suddenly course corrected and a mild case of momentary enlightenment ensued. We attended the Induction Ceremony of the New Jersey Hall of Fame Class of 2009 at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center. You see out of hundreds of nominees from New Jersey a few were chosen to be honored for their contributions in the following categories: Historical (contributions transcend one particular category; Enterprise ; Arts and Entertainment ; Sports; and , General ( encompassing military,writers,scholars,civil servants, politicians etc not covered in other categories.)This particular inductee group included: Paul Robeson, Walt Whitman, Guglielmo Marconi, Carl Sagan, Jon Bon Jovi, Jerry Lewis, Althea Gibson, Shaquillle O'Neal, Phil Rizzuto, F.Sott Fitzgerald, William Carlos Williams, Bud Abbot and Lou Costello and former US Senator Bill Bradley. One can read all about the Hall of Fame and the inductees by clicking on http://njhalloffame.com/#. I guess I was wrong about famous and some significant celebrities coming from a place other than my own neighborhood. Many of these inductees are some of my own personal heroes!

The climax of the evening was when General David Petraeus introduced and welcomed the individual receiving the "Unsung Hero Award", twenty five year old US Army 1st Lt. Brian Brennan. While in Afghanistan, Brian was wounded and suffered an acute brain injury, collapsed lung, ruptured spleen, multiple fractures and lost both of his legs. Brian walked out onto the stage and up to the podium without assistance. Regardless of one's position on the current war the complete audience stood up giving him a rousing welcome (and message of gratitude for his heroism and sacrifice.)There wasn't a dry eye in the house when he said that he was accepting this award "for all the hard-working Americans who do not receive any honors."

It was clear in hearing Lt. Brennan's story and witnessing him on stage that maybe there are some who are more deserving of recognition and gratitude than others. Yet, even with this emotional moment I couldn't help but to think about what the wives, children and descendants were saying about their hall of fame family members who were being honored. Regardless of the nature of the reason for the recognition; scientific achievement or contribution to the arts or to society in general, each family member who spoke about their honored family member identified specific qualities that seemed to be common to each of the honorees. These common qualities were: love, dignity, integrity and service.

Phrases being used to described the honorees were : "Great spouse", "loving father”, “good helpful friend and neighbor", and "committed to doing the right thing for people and society." It is quite simple and evident that real achievement is about the love,the dignity,the integrity and service.

It wouldn't be inaccurate to surmise that everyone who left the event last evening was feeling proud about being part of the "Garden State" - New Jersey . I felt humbled witnessing such a unique celebration of love and gratitude. It wasn't difficult to become reflective hoping that when I am gone that my daughters will know that I tried...to be a good husband, father and friend. I am grateful as my "Hall of Fame" is - being blessed with the gift of my life and family .The only similarity with last night's celebration and any possible remembrance in my honor....I wouldn't mind having Southside Johnny and Jon Bon Govi singing "We're Having a Party" at the end.


"We sanctify all we are grateful for"
-- Anthony DeMello SJ





amdg