Monday, May 31, 2010

These are The Days



"...These are the days of the endless summer
These are the days, the time is now
There is no past, there's only future
There's only here, there's only now..."

- These Are The Days, Van Morrison




It seems as if it were just a few short weeks ago that I was wondering if winter would ever end. We had more snow than ever recorded in this part of the country. Philadelphia, where Leigh was living at college, had three blizzards back to back. She was literally “snowed in.” I was unsure if we would ever see the green grass of the earth again as our property had been covered with snow from the week after Thanksgiving until early March.

But the peculiar answer to my prayers was found in three to four days of rain, which caused some serious flooding problems to a number of homes not too far away from where I now sit. “Be careful of what you ask for,” I have been advised.

It seemed that the media prone meteorologists were trying their best to be optimistic about the future. Everyday there seemed to be a report about how it would be five degrees warmer than the previous day. But then these highly paid prognosticators were punished for their false hope and their worldly optimism, as the weather would not cooperate. And we would experience another day of gray, damp and cold winds.
Turning to ground hogs and almanacs also became last resort resources to try and anticipate a sun drenched warm dry blessing of a day. “Just one” the prayers requested!

The pages on the wall calendar flipped and days were marked off. The pictures on the month’s page illustrated a memory of what once was and what could be. The days were crossed off and without great fanfare as they would secretly and gradually grew warmer .The sun would last a little longer in the heavens. Then a sudden burst of unusual brightness would come as if it got off course and would tease us with a bright warming day and for a moment everything looked as though it would be ok. But it was an anomaly and the clouds and cold re-entered the scene driving the wandering pilgrims to prayers of despair.

We all know that there are seasons to the year and that nature slowly and sometimes dramatically moves through time transforming itself and our experience. Yet even with this awareness hope had waned and frustration grew.

But now here I am sitting on my deck at dawn at the end of May listening to the welcoming and celebratory chorus of the morning birds while the watching the “wedge of freedom” flying geese honk their way across the horizon .The hours that were marked and remembered as being yesterday were filled with immense brightness and summer like warmth. The birth of the new day indicates the same. The voices on the car radio proclaimed that this weekend once reserved for remembering the great sacrifice of men and women has been transformed into a celebration in to the first week of summer. (Though the calendar says we have seventeen days before that officially happens.)

It takes a while but I think I am beginning to get it.

During the dark gray cold barren winter I was compelled to stay in the shelter of my home on those lonely mornings. Yet, it wasn’t really that impossible for me to be present to the moment but at times it was a bit of a struggle. The warm aroma of the freshly brewed coffee served as incense blessing the prayers of gratitude for the chance at living another day. Now this pilgrim sits witnessing the dawn amidst the silent strong standing trees accompanied by the bird and cricket chorale. The breath of God breezing across his face as the heaven’s great canopy evolves from black to crystal blue filling him again with humbled gratitude. Admittedly, the great warmth and gradual grand entrance of the sun amongst the freshly blossomed flowers provides a great grace that fuels a welcomed hope-filed spirit.

Well, it is said the “Truth will set you free.” So I feel compelled to say that it is obvious that I have a preference for summer. One of my colleagues once suggested that “summer” to me is a verb. That might have to do with my wearing top-siders (boat shoes) year round, golf shirts and at every chance slipping on shorts! The only thing missing for me as I sit out on my deck facing a pristine forest is water, a lake or ocean. After my quiet reflective time I make sure I take my daily walk around the small neighborhood lake. I make no apologies, as I am a Pisces! But back to the complete truth.

There is a unique serenity to the fresh fallen snow that purifies the barren wintered landscape with its virgin white blanket. Listening to the soft blessings of the flakes as they fall and witnessing the Currier and Ives type landscape is a grace that can fill the spirit to last a lifetime. There have been hours of delight and laughter with the girls being free spirited in the freshly fallen snow. Sledding, snowballing and some shoveling provide fuel for the reflective spirit. And yes I love pulling up my collar in autumn as I walk through the orange-yellow – red browned adorned neighborhood. And, yes spring with the view of the first leaf and flower engenders a spark of grateful optimism.

Even though I know I will probably worry about the weather again I realize there is “a time (and reason) for every season.” Maybe all of this sensitivity about all of this has to do with the change of season in my personal life… you know…the career, spiritual, personal and physical components of the journey.

The plans that I have been cautiously carefully crafting concerning how I could coordinate and manage the next season seem to be constantly sidetracked by some offstage director. I can’t deny that there exists a place in my heart for all the memories both fond and dark and what brought me to this second chance. I can’t deny dreaming about an idealistic future of perfect days…perfect experiences on perfect days all being unwarranted perfect blessings for an imperfect pilgrim.

But if this moment is filling this spirit with anything it is the blessing of being present to the now. I wish I could say I am a Zen practitioner or a faithful subscriber to St. Ignatius’ Suscipe . I remind myself of a cartoon character Popeye who says about himself , "I 'yams whats I ams, and dats all that I 'yams." But I am trying…in being who I am I am trying to be present, trying to be open and trying to do what ever it is I need to do. I am grateful …for my family and to have this moment!



These are the Days

These are the days of the endless summer
These are the days, the time is now
There is no past, there's only future
There's only here, there's only now

Oh your smiling face, your gracious presence
The fires of spring are kindling bright
Oh the radiant heart and the song of glory
Crying freedom in the night

These are the days by the sparkling river
His timely grace and our treasured find
This is the love of the one magician
Turned the water into wine

These are days of the endless dancing and the
Long walks on the summer night
These are the days of the true romancing
When I'm holding you oh, so tight

These are the days by the sparkling river
His timely grace and our treasured find
This is the love of the one great magician
Turned water into wine

These are the days now that we must savor
And we must enjoy as we can
These are the days that will last forever
and you've got to hold them, in your heart

--- Van Morrison



Suscipe

Take Lord, and receive
all my liberty,
my memory,
my understanding,
and my entire will --
all that I have and call my own.
You have given it
all to me.
To you, Lord,
I return it.
Everything is yours;
do with it
what you will.
Give me only your love
and your grace.
That is enough
for me.


--- Ignatius of Loyola


The song of the second chance dance

Mary’s melancholic mockingbird metanoied me
The soul sanctified solo song sweet sentiments.
By the hour the sun shed a final fiery flash
In her horizon departure.
Not forgotten was the robin’s baptismal melody
At the advent of another consecrated dawn.
Immersion , Redemption, confirmation, actualization,
Almost twenty two thousand days to discover
The name I was given before I was born.
The spark surprisingly fading quickly
Yet the chimes sang gently shaken by the breath of God ,
Thoreau’s morning wind, the spark transformed burst to flame.
Waves of tears flowing from your hallowed eyes.
blessed your flushed cheeks with smiles.
Answered prayers caressed your hearts.
My holy trinity had lowered this paralytic
into the presence of great consoling healer.
New gift, original gift revisited
Humbled and undeserved
whispering “yes” to your invitation
Softly singing the song of the second chance dance.

- John Sobecki


Picture - Leigh Sobecki

amdg

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Launching out into the deep




Meditating on Leigh’s forthcoming graduation from St. Joseph’s University in the next couple of weeks and the start of my own new life journey in retirement causes me to recall our days of sailing. It was this time of year that Lindsay and Leigh would help me sand and paint our sailboat’s bottom, re-teak some of the wood and make sure all the lines and related equipment were “ship-shape” (cleaned oiled, tightened, replaced, tested and readied for our launch.)

Vessels are launched when they are ready to set sail. They also use the terms christening or commissioning for the launching of new or refurbished vessels that have been on journey and need to retreat and be revitalized. Regardless of the vessels age it is a significant event and in many ways spiritual. The vessels have been prepared to handle the waters and winds that will carry them on their adventures on the open sea. The care and love that has gone into preparing the vessels for the days of smooth sailing and potential rough weather in the unchartered waters is only surpassed by the preparedness, care and skill of the vessel’s helmsman and crew.

There comes a moment in time where the vessel and crew are said to be “ready as ready” can be and the vessel needs to be launched out into the open waters to begin her journey. All the plans and preparation are just that now, plans and preparation.
The great adventure is to begin and if there is one thing to be sure it is that the vessel and crew will be tested. The ambiguity and possible fear of the unknown could hold the vessel back from launching .If she is launched any anxiety that surfaces about the future will have a negative impact on her potential safety and the possibility of enjoying the pleasures and grace of Poseidon on beautiful days on the open sea.

OK the waters may not be completely unchartered but for this particular vessel it is all new. The crew who may be untested and how the vessel will handle on the waters are not completely known. So with the launch comes a leap of faith and hope. Other vessels have reported rough passages but also fair weathered cruising and some have returned filled with wonderful stories of new lands, adventures and filled with treasures. Some report seeing the remains of others scattered on distant rocky shorelines of a new world and there are others have not been heard from after their initial launch. So what’s the point of the vessel if she is not to set sail? Is she to stay at dockside in a safe harbor until her hull begins to weather and rot and decay from non-usage?

Sailing requires knowledge, skill, preparation, a desire for adventure and the ability to soak in the peace and serenity of a warm sun accompanied by the gentle breath of God. Sailing requires patience, an abundance of appreciation for nature and an unending trust in oneself and God. Sailing is fun, thrilling and peace filling. It is also important to develop the intellectual side and understand some of the scientific principles behind sailing including; Bernoulli’s theorem, mathematical plotting of course setting considering wind, current and tides, astronomy and, basic meteorology. Almost more importantly a good sailor needs to trust…trust her intuition, her knowledge and her faith. Sometimes, as with in rough weather where the helmsman feels that she may have lost control of the vessel, she needs to trust completely and do something that for most is counterintuitive and that is to “let go” …of the helm. The result will be that the vessel will head up wind and right herself.
Try it sometime. The success of our passage will be measured by not how well we developed the skill of sailing (or living) or how fast we made it from here to there or the treasures we accumulated but “how “ we sailed (lived.) Did we make the journey with compassion, integrity and unselfishness?

So is it any wonder that why we celebrate launches, christenings, confirmations, commencements, graduations, weddings, new jobs, promotions, the first game of a sport season and even retirement? There are some groups who celebrate a death of family member or a friend. In reality they recall the fond moments of the person’s life but in some cases there is absolute delight that the great new voyage to forever has begun. These celebrations are centered around events that honor the transformation that is taking place: the caterpillar to butterfly; egg and seed become being; the girl to woman; the boy to man; and, the naive meanderer or latent sinner who becomes the illuminated pilgrim serving others with inspired unselfish love.
A launching has commenced. They are all celebrations of hope and delight.

Fr. Bill P. recently reminded the small gathering at liturgy at Loyola in one of his homilies that we are all commissioned to “launch out into the deep….” (Luke 5:4) with trust and enthusiasm. The word enthusiasm comes from the Greek “en theos” or “in (with) God.” Consider carefully constructing and preparing a vessel just to leave it tied up at dockside in a safe harbor and never to go out to venture on to the sea! Even if the sail is for a day cruise or a short sail, the purpose is to go out “into the deep,” …be what you are intended to be, be authentic, be that vessel that affirms for yourself and the world that you are here on the journey with love and trust in your heart.

So this is for Leigh and her friends, who are graduating,
for Lindsay who has “launched” into the world of work,
and for all graduates, those who are being christened, women who became mothers,
the first communicants, newlyweds, those laid off from work, those retiring and anyone who is launching out into the deep on a new journey…hoping that you are prepared, and ready and that your seas are calm and your adventures are filled with wonder, peace and love.

I have adapted my favorite prayer for your launching…

“MY LORD GOD, we all have no idea where we are going. We do not see the road ahead of us. We cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do we really know ourselves, and the fact that we think we are following your will does not mean that we are actually doing so. But I pray that we all believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And hope we have that desire in all that we are doing. I am hopeful that that we will never do anything apart from that desire. And we know that if we do this you will lead us by the right road, though we may know nothing about it. Therefore, I pray that we will all trust you always though we may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death and that we will not fear, for you are ever with us, and you will never leave us to face our perils alone.”

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"
© Abbey of Gethsemani




Painting – Breezing Up, Winslow Homer









amdg