When one really thinks about it ,there are no coincidences .We have circumstances and interactions where we can chose to be present to who and what is before and in us or we can just move on without a clue about the great blessing that surrounds us.
It is hard to be present and have wonder-filling expectations on cold wind blowing wintery nights.Everything seems to be barren, dead or in the process of dying. Sometimes it is different. Twenty one years ago on December 22 the new official sun of winter was making her final farewell and bow to the day as my then three year old,Lindsay, and I waited in anticipation for her mother to arrive home from work.Lindsay's excitement grew exponentially with each passing breath that she took.I need to accept some responsibility for her rise in adrenalin.You see it was Lindsay's third birthday and I had made a point to attempt to establish a tradiion where our immediate familiy would always and unequivicoally celebrate a anniversary or birthday on the specific month and day of tha birth or anniversary.Lindsay ,at three years old, had learned this new tradition all too well. Starting this "tradition" would be something that I would eventually regret years later. That's another long story. However, we know that things don't always happen the way we expect or plan them to be.
Lindsay was dressed up and ready to celebrate as we waited at the picture window to see Ginny's car rumble around the bend to the house. The quiet anticipation was broken with a piercing unexpected ring of the phone that I reluctantly but anxiously decided to answer. Ginny was pregnant and I was concerned about her condition driving more than twenty miles to and from work each day. "Did something happen?', I pondered. What is it in us that breaks a moment of potential joy with "worry?" I had received surpising sad and bad news calls in the past and bad news calls would return again time to time over my life. Ginny's OB/GYN was on the line and he had the results of the amniocentisus.....My heart ,my breathing stopped... the fetus was healthy and since we wanted to know, he told me we were to have another girl! Without a moment to think or to thank him Ginny's car pulled in to the drive way and before I could ask the doctor anything more he said farewell and that he would see Ginny the next week. Linds looked at me with worried eyes.Picking her up I gave her one of those familiar fatherly hugs and a kiss of consolation as Ginny opened the door. She was startled that Linds and I were pouncing on her like two WalMart greeters. A worried look overcame her face and I explained about the coincidence of the phone call we just received seconds ago from her doctor. We laughed.We cried. What a great "birthday" gift! Silently I thanked God for all the undeserved blessings.Then,just as suddenly, as I finished my quick prayer the door bell rang. It was as if we were all in some Halmark Hall of Fame movie moment as a group of adult Christmas carolers capped the moment warming our hearts as they cheerfully sang at our front door step.Hmmm, another coincidence?
Ginny said last night "somedays didn't seem like they would ever end but somehow the years have gone by so quickly."
It is twenty one years since that birthday celebration and we are about to celebrate our second daughter's, Leigh's , twenty first birthday on Mother's Day.It is also the same day as my mother's wedding anniversary and one day before my mother-in-law's birthday (My dad and mother-in-law are both gone now but we never forget to celebrate with and for them.)Lindsay is now a successful Human Resource professional in a major pharmaceutical firm and living in Princeton and true to tradition we will all be gathering together in Philadelphia where Leigh goes to school and lives now .Some traditions are good for the family,good for the heart, and good for the soul.
A friend and colleague recently became a first time parent and I am delighting in his newly discovered joy. His heart warming stories about his new baby and his wife have also opened the flood gates of millions of memories of my own parenting and spousal experiences. I mentioned to this friend that another old friend and counselor of mine,Kirk, once said "the greatest love a father can give his children is to love their mother." Why was I then surprised that I coincidently found a Mother's Day greeting card with that same sentiment on it just the other day? As I give my friend advice I find that I am often speaking to my self "savor each moment","it's your family that's important","be grateful all ways."
In another exchange I told this new friend of how I made "birthday" tapes for each daughter when they were born.These are are a collection songs recorded by various artists about daughters, babies,love and life. Later that same day after I shared this story with my friend I frantically searched the house and finally found Leigh's tape ,cried as I got lost in the clouds as I listened to Tom Rush's version of a Joni Mitchell song,The Circle Game."
....For my girls, all the mothers, fathers and children... for the birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's Days ,fond memories and celebrations (and for all the coincidences )....be blessed all ways!
(Let's be grateful for for the songs and the second chances !)
The Circle Game
Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when you're older, must appease her
And promises of someday make her dreams
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and dawn
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game.
Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town
And they tell her,
Take your time, it wont be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and dawn
We're captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
So the years spin by and now the girl is twenty(one)
Though her dreams have lost some grandeur
Coming true
There'll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through.
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
- J.Mitchell
amdg
PS Check out "Playing for Change" on the left margin and below and pass it on!
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