Second Chance Dance: What Really Matters:There is No Them

Friday, October 31, 2025

What Really Matters:There is No Them

The Inspiration:

A famous life coach and author, Stephen Covey ,

promoted and practiced a popular exercise

where one would imagine their own retirement dinner or

funeral and think what words that family , friends and colleagues

may use to describe you- your life.

I would use forms of this exercise with corporate clients and

college students alike. (total at least a 1000 plus.)

It was very rare that respondents would use words

that described professional achievements or attachments

to things...i.e. jewelry , homes, boats, cars etc , or

financial wealth, career success , ego and status etc etc..

The most prevalent words and descriptions and responses

include : loving ; caring for and helpful others ; friendly ; peace filled ;

ethical; integrity; truth-filled; collaborative, creative, risk taker..

(concern for the common good) and spiritual.

Discussions would ensue about the reality of the world we live in,

the awareness of personal imperfections and and how and

when we exhibit those essential personal qualities we discussed

as to how we may want to be remembered .

It would become clear that these are the aspects of our journey

that really matter.

-----

The Writing:

What Really Matters: There is No Them

We are here to exist in relationship with

all creation;

everything and everyone is of the mystical

divine majesty.

We are here to be authentic contributors -

to respond and to serve,

wherever and however we can -

sometimes by lending an ear,

sometimes by lending a hand,

knowing when to speak,

and when and how to listen.

At times, it is simply a matter

of just sitting in grateful silence.

At times , it is leaping into the fray

to offer something- somehow- to someone

whose heart is weary.

At Times, it is sensing

when a smile is needed,

or when a shared tear

is the greatest consolation .

And at times it is taking

that modest gift we carry

and offering it to the great play

lifting the spirits

of wandering souls.

Remember this:

it is not -

it has never been --

- about just you or me alone.

it is, and always will be,

about us.

There is no them

- JF Sobecki

-----

Poetry (and such for your Contemplation)

(Please click on link below each picture to see video)

Some things are just worth repeating.

For What Binds Us - Jane Hirshfield

https://youtu.be/MQb5g5CISn4?si=-pSB5Ze75P4grn08

"What will your verse be? (Dead Poets Society)

https://youtu.be/-7OE6bDfM2M?si=aXHOD2UcdPp2ypfD

----

Music: and such for your listening inspiration

(Please click on link below each picture to see video)

Invisible - U2

https://youtu.be/HqqDExc8TF4?si=RxkDeme1M8K_z0MT

Get Together - Youngbloods

https://youtu.be/7xGxQXmu7Os?si=g72Ij5-1-JbP_Acf

How Can a Poor Man Stand Such times and Still Live

- Ry Cooder

https://youtu.be/LI0BtL_6Y50?si=lT_p15RHvppJY3H2

-----

Coda: Something further for your reflection

* The World Bank states that in using a poverty line of $6.85/day

for middle income countries is estimated at 3.5 billion people ,

or 44% of the world's population, live under that poverty line.

* Research indicates that even with significant differences

the major religions and spiritual practices around the world

they share the following common perspectives and themes:

- Compassion and love - how we treat others

- promote human welfare and reduce suffering

- Practice loving kindness all ways

- All life ( existence) is connected.

- A good life is measured by your kindness to others

- Seek truth, wisdom and understanding

- Be grateful , present and aware of each moment

- There is a higher purpose in life than materialism

- Service to and care of others ( especially those

who cannot help themselves)

https://www.findhelp.org/

"We sanctify all we are grateful for"

- Anthony DeMello

Have a blessed and Healthy Thanksgiving!

AMDG

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New Blog - Rain and Rivers Revisited: A Journey of a Lost Weekend

Well you may recall I have been working on a piece of fiction for a while now. It is still a work in progress. However, I decided

to release drafts of the first few episodes ( chapters.) Much of the work is completed but I am always cutting and editing.

http://rainandriversrevisited.blogspot.com/

It is difficult to release just pieces at a time as they are created as independent episodes they are also all parts of a larger piece (and picture .) I could share more but I am curious to read or hear your feedback.

I want to thank those friends and supporters who have already provided feedback ...and of course all the folks who have been following my Second Chance Dance Blog ( by the way that will continue.)

The material in the Blog is all copyrighted and cannot be reproduced in any form. Though, I welcome you to share the link and this blog with others .So please when you have a few minutes take a read and let me know what you think. I expect to be posting a series of subsequent episodes shortly.

Thanks....

News of Death

(This is for Coach)

Last night they came with news of death
not knowing what I would say.
I wanted to say,"The green wind is running through the fields making the grass lie flat."
I wanted to say,"The apple blossom flakes like ash covering the orchard wall."
I wanted to say,"the fish float belly up in the slow stream,stepping stones to the dead."

They asked if I would sleep that night,
I said I did not know.
For this loss I could not speak,the tongue lay idle in a great darkness,the heart was strangely open,the moon had gone,and it was then when I said, "He is no longer here"
that the night put its arms around me
and all the white stars turned bitter with grief.
- David Whyte

What Work is

We stand in the rain in a long line

waiting at Ford Highland Park. For work.

You know what work is--if you're

old enough to read this you know what

work is, although you may not do it.

Forget you. This is about waiting,

shifting from one foot to another.

Feeling the light rain falling like mist

into your hair, blurring your vision

until you think you see your own brother

ahead of you, maybe ten places.

You rub your glasses with your fingers,

and of course it's someone else's brother,

narrower across the shoulders than

yours but with the same sad slouch, the grin

that does not hide the stubbornness,

the sad refusal to give in to

rain, to the hours wasted waiting,

to the knowledge that somewhere ahead

a man is waiting who will say, "No,

we're not hiring today," for any

reason he wants. You love your brother,

now suddenly you can hardly stand

the love flooding you for your brother,

who's not beside you or behind or

ahead because he's home trying to

sleep off a miserable night shift

at Cadillac so he can get up

before noon to study his German.

Works eight hours a night so he can sing

Wagner, the opera you hate most,

the worst music ever invented.

How long has it been since you told him

you loved him, held his wide shoulders,

opened your eyes wide and said those words,

and maybe kissed his cheek? You've never

done something so simple, so obvious,

not because you're too young or too dumb,

not because you're jealous or even mean

or incapable of crying in

the presence of another man, no,

just because you don't know what work is.

Philip Levine

On Marriage - Kahil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.

But let there be spaces in your togetherness,And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love:Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loafSing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.And stand together yet not too near together:For the pillars of the temple stand apart,And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

A favorite "Journey" poem from a favorite poet

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.
-- Mary Oliver

Send or post one of your favorites! They can be lyrics to a song!

Playing For Change

Please see the current music video from "Playing for Change" at the bottom of this page. It is a movement. Enjoy!

"Playing for Change" is a multimedia movement created to inspire, connect, and bring peace to the world through music. The idea for this project arose from a common belief that music has the power to break down boundaries and overcome distances between people. No matter whether people come from different geographic, political, economic, spiritual or ideological backgrounds, music has the universal power to transcend and unite us as one human race. And with this truth firmly fixed in our minds, we set out to share it with the world

Fall in Love

“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in a love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.” --- Pedro Arrupe SJ

Second Chance Dance

Friday, October 31, 2025

What Really Matters:There is No Them

If you or someone you know needs help

Search and connect to support. financial assistance, food pantries,

medical care, and other free or reduced-cost starts here:

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